Nameless Love Notes

 I watched out the window as the sun sunk into the earth. It looked like someone had spilled watercolors all over the sky. The entire ride I had been listening to Flyleaf. Car rides have to be one of my favorite things. Your forced to sit and think because unless your willing to take a jump at sixty miles and hour, your trapped. Later on, as we were driving through the woods, I looked up at the sky. You could see every star, even from inside a car. Sometimes I confuse satellites with stars and it makes me laugh. Us humans are always trying to make things our own. We even try to out shine the stars.

The forest is completely alien to me. You can't look at an untouched forest and not stare at it in wonder. At night, all you can see is the silhouettes of the branches, with their claws stretching towards the sky. Like they'd like to pluck one of those perfect diamonds for themselves. Passed the gnarled trees, its black. And just to wonder what's lying passed there sends shivers down your spine. People can't see at night. Its obvious we weren't meant to be existent at night. If we were we would have evolved night vision, right? Instead we line the streets with orange glowing lamps and fill supermarket parking lots with ugly fluorescent beacons. Fire was the original light, before we got all technical with electricity and what not. I think fire is one of the most destructive natural forces, isn't it amazing how it's our savior? Think about it, what if there was no electricity or fire. We would be completely helpless at night. The earth would have it's way. But I wonder...if the night isn't for us, then who is if for?

Maybe that's why the night and darkness skeevs people out. Maybe deep down we all know we aren't meant to be in it.

I think it's beautiful though, the gray scale. Darkness dissolves color. It really does because color is created by light. At night it washes all away, like it was never there. If I'm in the dark does a part of me dissolve? When the sun goes down the earth is left to its pure structure. No pretty colors to impair our vision.

Anyway. The new semester starts in a few days and I couldn't be more thrilled. I can't wait to get submerged in art. All art, drawing, painting, writing, singing, guitar. I just want to learn all about it. There's this thing called the hierarchy of needs, its some psychology thing but it shows the steps a person needs to take before reaching..."completion." Aesthetic stuff is high up on the list. I think I skipped a few steps. Maybe that has to do with why artists are always labeled, "distressed" or pretty much crazy. They might have skipped things they needed and now there just a mess or maybe their just more in touch with themselves and they realize all the things going on around them. Because honestly if you take in the world there's so much to be sad for. I mean, there's a ton to be happy about but a lot to be sad about too. Unfortunately.

Flyleaf. I don't know I was skeptical when I first heard about them but I really really like them. Aside for her somewhat repetitive lyrics, its good stuff.

Ahh! I need to get out. I don't know why I'm subjected to this torture. They know I loathe being here. I paced the house all day and checked the refrigerator about thirty times. Like I was hoping each time it would magically have been restocked.

My fingers hurt from playing the guitar and I've been working on a song that I like but it keeps morphing. Song writing and composing I think is a lot like sculpting. You start with a lot of crap and smooth it down to exactly what you want and it usually ends up looking completely different from what you started with.

Everyone's sleeping...

I guess that's my cue.

Look, all my color dissovled

Do you still think I'm beatuiful

When darkness takes over?

"Close your eyes and I'll close mine."

Be my valentine.

Partner in crime.